A Lesson Learned: Prioritizing Marriage and Boundaries
By Lokanath Mishra
Kamala’s story is a poignant reminder of the importance of prioritizing one’s marriage and setting boundaries. At 23, Kamala married a kind and educated man from a good reputed and wealthy business family in Cuttack . This was an arranged marriage, and initially, her relationship with her husband was loving, and she enjoyed her new life.
However, her parents and siblings’ constant advice and interference soon created tension. They would often request financial help, and Kamala’s husband had generously sent money to support her siblings who were staying in hostels for the past two years. Despite this, Kamala’s husband would occasionally ask her to limit her conversations with her parents and siblings, but she didn’t think much of it.
Unbeknownst to her, her husband had recorded their conversations and felt that her parents and siblings’ comments were interfering with their marriage. The final straw came when Kamala’s husband gave her an ultimatum: choose between her marital home and her maternal family. Kamala returned to her maternal home, and eventually, her husband filed for divorce.
Despite her regret, Kamala’s parents and siblings encouraged her to demand jewelry and money spent on the wedding. Her husband surprisingly returned everything promptly, and they divorced two years later. He moved on, remarried, and built a new life.
After returning to her parental home, Kamala began working as a teacher at a village school and also helped her parents with farming. She took on the responsibility of sending money to her siblings to support their educational expenses, including hostel fees. As time passed, her younger sister secured a job, got married, and settled with her husband. Both of Kamala’s brothers completed their studies, found employment, and started their own families, living in distant places.
However, when Kamala’s parents passed away, she was left alone in the village. Despite her teaching career, she continued to manage the farm. Unfortunately, her siblings did not provide any financial support or visit her during this challenging time, leaving Kamala to fend for herself.
Years have passed, and Kamala reflects on her experience. She realizes that her parents and siblings’ constant interference and lack of boundaries had a significant impact on her marriage. She wishes she had prioritized her relationship with her husband and set clear boundaries with her family.
Kamala’s story serves as a cautionary tale for young women, emphasizing the importance of prioritizing their marital home and setting boundaries with their maternal family. By sharing her story, Kamala hopes to advise others to be mindful of the potential consequences of allowing maternal family members to interfere in their marriage. She encourages women to prioritize their relationship with their partner and communicate effectively with their loved ones to maintain a healthy and happy marriage.