By Lokanath Mishra, MA, LLB, IRS ( retired)
Ritual is a specific, observable mode of behavior exhibited by all known societies. It is thus possible to view ritual as a way of defining or describing humans.
Relationship rituals are a simple, yet powerful way to nurture and grow your love.
Created as intentional dedications, relationship rituals are habits you do consistently – often on set days or at particular times – to support your love to grow and your bond to deepen.
When we commit to specific behaviors and practices, we prioritize our relationship. In turn, our relationship can thrive.
A couple ritual refers to a regular practice or tradition that a couple observes together, strengthening their bond and fostering a deeper connection. These rituals can be simple, meaningful, and personalized to the couple’s preferences. Examples of couple rituals include:
Weekly date nights,
Sharing gratitude or appreciation before bed ,
Cooking lunch or dinner together,
Exchanging love letters or notes,
Scheduling regular romantic getaways, Practicing yoga or meditation together,
Enjoying a shared hobby or activity, Having a regular “state of the union” conversation, Creating a shared vision board or goals, don’t waste your time in mobile if it is not necessary.
Couple rituals help:
- Nurture emotional intimacy
- Build trust and communication
- Create shared memories
- Provide a sense of security and stability
- Keep the spark alive
Remember, the key is to choose rituals that resonate with both partners and make them feel connected and loved.
Couple Rituals Can Strengthen a Relationship.
Rituals can enhance your connection with your partner.
These rituals need not be designed from scratch, but may involve activities that you already engaged in.
Rituals are significant predictors of commitment.
Couple rituals can range from daily actions such as brushing your teeth together or always hugging one another before leaving the house to more elaborate ways of connecting, such as writing a list of the reasons why you’re thankful for one another at the end of each week. Regardless of the frequency or complexity, they are meaningful components of your relationship.
Rituals are significant predictors of commitment, and when they are implemented over time by partners, hold a positive meaning for them. These rituals can foster a closeness between partners and a shared understanding. As rituals have been shown to be important in bringing members of a couple together, incorporating meaningful rituals into your everyday lives can strengthen the relationship between you and your partner.
While routines may help us get through our days, it is the rituals that help us in life. Rituals, on the other hand, are like maps that help us navigate situations. These maps can also enhance connection and intimacy. It is important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to create a ritual. The goal is to do something meaningful on a consistent basis. These rituals need not be designed from scratch but may involve slightly altering activities that you are already engaged in. You may spend your mornings multitasking—getting ready for work and engaging in activities that are important to you, such as catching up on the daily news and exercising. Rather than spend time connecting with one another, you wind up barely crossing paths, often forgetting to have a meaningful goodbye before rushing off to start the day.
Instead of each exercising and listening to headphones or taking independent classes, you can opt for a partnered workout, in which you engage with one another. Or you can go for a walk or run around the neighborhood, allowing them to connect during this time.
Instead of losing yourselves in your phones while having coffee and eating, you can use that time to talk with one another about what upcoming daily events they are most excited about. You can also use this time to plan other ways to connect once you get home in the evening.
Instead of rushing out the door, you can pause and intentionally connect with one another by embracing or giving one another a meaningful kiss when you exit the door.
No matter what you choose to do to create rituals, discuss your ideas with your partner so that you incorporate things that are meaningful to both of you.
It’s easy to fall into the rut of taking your partner for granted. Maybe they always take out the trash or take care of the dishes. Maybe you always ensure the bills are paid or pick up the groceries on the way home from work. Gratitude ensures we never take our partner for granted, and instead, continually acknowledge the things they do for us and for the relationship.
Make it a ritual to show your appreciation regularly, not for the big, obvious things alone.
Acknowledging the little things makes a huge difference by infusing your relationship with an attitude of gratitude.
Digital media does a great job of distracting us and keeping us entertained with constant posts, content, news, and entertainment. After a busy day, it can feel like the easiest thing to chill out in front of a screen and switch off. However, long term, this habit can undermine a relationship by reducing the connection you feel when you’re together.
Try a tech-free dining ritual if your relationship could do with a little more tech-free time. You don’t have to do it every time you eat . Instead, choose days or times that work for both of you and make it happen.
During the allotted time, put your phones away, mute notifications, and switch off the TV. Create non-distracted time and space for each other and your relationship. It may feel uncomfortable initially. You may feel the urge to reach for your phone! But stick with it, and see what difference it makes.
Romance can become stale if we don’t invest in creativity and curiosity. All you could think about was spending time together and doing nice things for each other! Once the initial fire dies down, the everyday routine can take root. With different priorities, we don’t as easily find time for each other.
Plan things together. Talk about the ways you’d like to spend time together. Get creative and innovative. And if you want some suggestions, It’s A Date is a fun way to infuse anticipation, spontaneity, and excitement into your dating life.
Make time for intimacy.
Aim to keep the bedroom fun, fresh, and engaging with intentional intimacy. This intention can take many forms. For example, redefine sex as “meaningful acts of pleasure” and remove the pressure to perform. Try new things. Talk about topics you may not have explored for a while or at all.
The Intimacy After Dark Deck is packed with conversation topics plus fun suggestions for when you want to get a little spicey!
Embrace in a long hug and kiss. Create an intentional moment of reconnection after being apart.
Exercising with your partner is a great way to stay fit and healthy as well as an opportunity to spend quality time together.
Choose something you enjoy, such as walking, running, or taking a gym class together.
Enjoy the prep, the activity, and the feeling of rushing endorphins after a good workout.
One of the most potent rituals for any relationship is time and space for meaningful conversations. How many couples wake up one day and realize they forgot to talk? It sounds crazy, but again, the shuffle of life makes it easy to take your partner for granted. Before you know it, you’re switching off in each other’s company instead of turning on to each other.
As well as talking about the things you’ve been doing and the stuff that’s been happening, remember to talk about how you feel. Talking about your emotions helps infuse emotional intelligence, empathy, and resiliency into your relationship. It’s also powerful for improving mental and emotional well-being.
When you keep talking, you make it easier to stay on the same page. You allow stresses and issues to come to the surface faster, allowing you to explore a resolution before an issue festers into something more problematic. In this way, conversation can be a preventative tool. When we talk together, we’re less likely to experience conflict over the little things.
A conversation ritual can enhance the bedroom experience too. When couples feel emotionally connected, they often feel more sexually connected.
Relationship rituals can give both partners a stronger bond in order to better support each other during tough situations.
Creating a list of rituals helps mates establish relationship rituals that will satisfy each mate so everyone’s needs are considered and excite the pair equally.
Whether waking in the morning or sleeping at night, mates should enjoy some quality pillow talk. It doesn’t have to involve sex.
Pillow talk is sharing an intimate conversation that a pair wouldn’t usually have any other time of the day.
It can be about hopes and dreams, where they’d like to spend a dream vacation, fantasies they would enjoy, secrets and vulnerabilities without fear of judgment. This should be included in daily intimacy rituals.
The daily ritual meaning dictates that the time spent together be about bonding. That’s impossible when there are interruptions and distractions from electronic devices.
Bonding rituals for couples include cooking dinner together, having an intimate evening of conversation and a beverage of choice, sitting around the fire, or enjoying a nice car ride along the countryside.
A phone alert, TV blaring, or email should come through in these situations. Everything should be turned off or muted and put away. Most relationship therapists would recommend this.
If you want to develop rituals for connection daily, one way to do so is to prepare for bed at the same time each night. If one person is known to stay up a bit late, the other can nap at some point during the day.
That will allow them to enjoy a lovely evening and bedtime with their partner. Compromise is one of many rituals to strengthen your love.
Many couples who ‘go to bed’ at the same time find it helpful, as they are feeling more connected to their partner and less distance.
Fitness is one of the most critical components of wellness. It’s not always a good time alone, with some people avoiding the habit when solo.
Brilliant relationship rituals take the time to develop exercise routines you can do together. It can be manageable, a simple 20 or 30-minute walk before breakfast or after dinner.
First-person to know
Developing love rituals for couples can be challenging. Love is sometimes effort and hard work. One thing to consider is when there is news to tell, and your mate should be the first to know, not friends or family but your partner.
That should be easy, and you should be excited to share with the one you love right away. Intentional affection . Relationship rituals should include intentional affection. Pay attention to how you’re providing love to your mate. When you kiss your partner goodbye in the morning, is it a quick “see ya” and you’re out?
In that same vein, when coming home, whoever is first needs to give the “whole” hug as if they’ve just seen the other person for the first time, along with a “hello” and “I missed you.”
When you make someone feel like your day revolves around the moment you see them again, it’s a ritual of intimacy that deepens a connection.
Spontaneously throughout the day, when you’re apart, develop a ritual of sending loving texts to each other as you’re able throughout the day; anticipate special plans for the evening, even if it’s just cuddling on the couch.
Whether you leave little notes in the lunch pail or an inexpensive gesture to say “thank you,” “I appreciate you,” or “I love you,” there is more gratitude for these magnificent small gestures than there would be for any lavish, expensive, showy gift.
Daily relationship routines like these keep a relationship healthy, happy, and strong.
When some problems or issues need to be worked out, agree with the two of you that you will set aside a specific time of the day to have serious discussions to work through these things.
Open, honest communication is essential in a healthy partnership. Research tells us that rituals can even help couples decide the destination of their relationships.
Don’t forget to apologize
In that same vein, when you have fixable rough patches, remember to apologize for any missteps regardless of the severity or lack thereof. It shows the level of respect you have for your mate and the relationship as a whole.
Check out this video to learn more about the perfect apology:
Not everyone needs coffee in the morning, but most people enjoy the beverage. One of the best daily relationship rituals is whoever gets up first, makes the coffee, and brings the other person their cup while asleep.
The smell will be their wake-up call. And if the mate is lovely, they’ll put just the right amount of creamer and a small ice cube in so it’s cooled and ready to drink.
While it can become a lovely experience that no one wants to give up, it must be mutual, with each person taking their turn. Don’t fake sleep.
Another ritual of love that you can include in your relationship is setting aside all your stress at dinner and focusing solely on spending quality time with your partner.
Try not to bring your stress from work, unresolved issues or previous disagreements to the dinner table. Treat this as your time to heal and truly reconnect with your partner.
Share posts and articles you like
In the age of social media, couples rituals can include aspects such as sharing posts with your partner that make you laugh. You can send them articles that you found interesting or moved you.
By watching or reading posts you share, you can stay connected with your partner and what is affecting them. You can laugh at similar things and better understand each other’s perspectives.
Rituals of connection can be safely established if you have at least one meal together every day.
The busy state of your life can create a situation where it might be easier for you and your partner to eat your meals separately.
However, you can prepare a relationship routine that calls for at least one meal of the day to be eaten together so that you can enjoy that meal with each other.
